Saturday, June 27, 2009

I wish they could read this.

I don’t know how to start this one. I’m not a writer or a novelist I just want to write something about this FAMILY. I do it this way because I know if I talk to you personally I’ll get emotional. So firsts things first, I really want to apologize for everything. For having you so much trouble because of me, a severe headache for my attitude, for waking you up late at night just to open the door for me, for every bad morning you had, cheating on you, for disobeying your rules, for having an imperfect daughter like me and for everything I’ve done so negatively. I’m sorry for disappointing you but isn’t it so unfair? “Sometimes we have to go to the negatives to learn the positives”. I know it sound so stupid but sometimes I just want to live life happily that’s why I made those unenthusiastic acts. I’m really sorry for that, I will not promise to do the positives now instead I will do my best to be into it.
Secondly, I want to thank you for the things you’ve done to me. For cooking day and night, for the allowance, for sending me to school, for being a guardian, for hanging out with us “your children” sometimes, for scolding us but sometimes we have to watch our mouths because we don’t know we’ve degrading the person very hard straight to his/her heart and causes discouragement. For teaching us what is right or wrong, but do you really know what is right or wrong? For giving us shelter and for making us smile. Thanks for being there---at our side.
Mang, though you don’t talk about it I know your frustrated. For having no work, for staying here in our rented house all day long. I can feel it, you really are. I only got one wish, please lessen or even just slow down when you scold. You’re on your 40’s it’s not advisable to scold every minute it will just make you look older. J specially to jaja it causes trauma, a hard one for her. My heart hurts when you slap her face, scold her so hard that made you unconsciously breaking her heart out. Control it sometimes you don’t even know what runs into her mind when you keep on doing it. Just be happy and you’ll know what I mean.
Dadi, I hope you’ll have or definitely we’ll have this family until its last. I know your working hard for us, make some money to send us to our respective schools. But sometimes you have to take a break. It’s like in a speech, without having a single pause can cause you a big trouble. I’m not asking for a vacation or whatever. Just make this family like we were in the past 10 years, a very happy one. No hard fights, no amplified shouts and no ladies? I know Mang stand out above the crowd, I trust you because we’ve been into this---we even fight.
I don’t know what my reasons are for writing this. Maybe I’ve just exploded that’s why I made this. I feel so refresh after writing this letter, I hope it make sense. And ahh—one more thing, I maybe undefined but I know in my heart I’m a girl---not just the typical one.
*Sorry for the grammatical errors, I’m not good in this field I just want to express*

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